How to Write a Eulogy
A eulogy is not a resume. It's a portrait. The best ones make a room of grieving people feel, for a few minutes, like the person is still there — because you said the one true thing only you could say.
Get 3–10 drafts of a eulogy in under 5 minutes.
Structure that works
- A defining quality, memory, or phrase — open with them, not with the occasion.
- Who they were as a person: their quirks, their character, their impact.
- A story that captures their essence — one, not five.
- What they taught you or the people around them.
- A farewell — what you carry forward.
Do
- Be specific. "She always burned the Thanksgiving rolls" is better than "she loved to cook."
- Let humor in if the person would have wanted it. Laughter is a gift at a funeral.
- Keep it under 7 minutes. A shorter eulogy can hold more feeling.
- Read it out loud twice before the service.
Don't
- Avoid clichés like "they're in a better place" unless the family has explicitly asked for religious framing.
- Don't try to cover their whole life. Pick what you knew.
- Don't apologize or explain what you're going to say — just say it.
A sample excerpt
Mom burned the Thanksgiving rolls every single year. Every single year. [pause] And every single year, she'd put them on the table anyway, and say, in that voice — "well, the tops are fine." [pause] That was her. The tops were always fine. Even when nothing else was. She just kept setting the table.
[pause] cues are ours — they're where a good speaker lets the room breathe.
Frequently asked
How long should a eulogy be?
Five to seven minutes. A well-edited eulogy at that length lands harder than a 15-minute one.
Is it okay to be funny in a eulogy?
Yes, if the person would have welcomed it. Humor in a eulogy is a gift to the mourners — it lets them feel the person's spirit in the room.
What if I break down reading it?
Have a paper copy and a backup reader. Pausing is fine. Crying is fine. You don't owe the room composure — you owe them honesty.
Ready when you are.
Answer a few questions about the person and the moment. Up to ten polished drafts, delivered instantly. No account needed.